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Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Do'a for the Departed ~ Free Graphic by www.readnwrite.net


I dedicate this Doa for the Departed graphic for free usage and distribution by Muslims worldwide as a gift from me to everyone.

This Do'a @ Prayer is an authenticated prayer from our Blessed Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wassallam and is an authentic Hadith relayed by Muslim.

May Allah bless and guide us all. Ameen.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Reasons why English is not being mastered by Malaysians!


When I was started my primary schooling at Jelutong English School [2] in Georgetown, Penang Island back in 1965, the schooling system here in Malaysia was still in a sense having that Colonial British atmosphere to it. 

Although Malaysia was then just 2 years old coming to be formed officially on the 16th of September, 1963, there was no rush to replace the British education system based on the English Language which was prevalent at those times with Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Malaysia as it was later called as. 

I studied with my fellow Malaysians from all ethnicities and faiths here back then under a generally accepted English medium primary school. We were taught in English and Malay and were also allowed to learn and master other languages such as Mandarin, Tamil or Arabic as additional subjects.

My attempt at learning Tamil as an additional subject evaporated into thin air when the large sized Tamil teacher slammed her large wooden blackboard ruler very hard and loudly onto the surface of the teacher's table upon entering the noisy class!

I dashed off with my bag and books shocked and surprised at such an alarming entrance by that humongous teacher! Scared to bits of that giant sized Tamil teacher, I vowed to never enter her Tamil class again!

I kept to my vow right up to the 6th year when I entered secondary school! No way was I that brave to rejoin her Tamil class! No sirree!

As a result, I can't read or write in the Tamil language but I have mastered English & Malay to such an extent that I scored 'Almost Native Speaker' level of English when I took the British Council's English Assessment Test. I scored Band 8 which was almost the Native Speaker of English level.

I can't assume that everyone would have a natural inclination or ability to master English the way that I did but can only guess that it must have to do with each individual's internal desire and aspirations.

I knew my situation. That I was a poor boy born to parents who were not educated due to their own circumstances back then where education was only the privilege of wealthier people.

Thus I had to educate myself in any way that was possible for me back in the 1960's. If you watch the old black & white films of the late P.Ramlee you would have an idea of the poverty of the leading character which he featured in films like 'Anak ku Sazali' and others.

If you look at the way some people here in Malaysia speak English, it would sound funny. The person concerned would often have a special accent according to his or her ethnicity and their spoken English would sound Malay if the speaker was one. Chinese, Indian or whatever accordingly.

Why is that so? Well, I can only deduce that while they intend to speak English as they want to, their brain isn't thinking in English as well.

So we get all these funny sounding English interspersed with a twinge of the mother tongue of the speaker. Let me see if I can find on You Tube clips like that?

Well, this sharing by an expatriate English teacher has her audience laughing hysterically with her delivery!




A taste of the local Malaysians speaking in 'English'! Enjoy! :D


Now, sit back, loosen your belt and watch a local Malaysian Deputy Public Prosecutor make a fool of himself by speaking in his Malay version of English! This was the 'Teoh Beng Hock' death inquest.

Your honor, I rest my case. :P

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Hell Scrub anyone?


I came across this 'beauty of a typo error in a banner in front of a shoplot advertising wellness services at the Berjaya Times Square, Jalan Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur recently.

Imagine the horror of getting a 'Hell Scrub'? Hehehehe..quite painful, I must say! 

Such a sign will scare any potential customers away from submitting to such a brutal scrub! :P

Just one small error but what an impact!

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Typo Trouble ~ What a missing alphabet can do? Lots of damage!

The internet was abuzz about the typographical error in the current US President Donald J.Trump's official portrait published.

Seems that for a land where English is the main and national language, there still exists a situation like this where proofreaders seem not to have been engaged to ensure that there is no screw up like this!

Don't tell me that the world's 'richest nation or so they say can't afford to pay for a proof reader's service?

Jokes aside on my personal account, I recently had a client send me his assignment to translate his manual on SOP for his customer. I came across a word which was supposed to read 'count' but with a missing 'o'! 

Imagine the brouhaha it would have caused his client if they were going through each word during his initial presentation of the prepared draft of the SOP for a manufacturing factory! :P

Then there was a word which was supposed to be 'assessment' but with the missing 'ment'! Surely made my day laughing out loud as I went through his documents :D

To all those who are serious in their chosen work, professional efforts or in the academic field, do engage my service or those like me in order to avoid such embarrassments! It surely will not cost you a hand or a foot but will suffice to tell your client that they are dealing with someone who knows his or her stuff.

Do email me at editor.readnwrite.net@gmail.com or at mahaguru58@gmail.com. Call / WhatsApp me at +60163969881.

I will strive to fulfill your needs as best as I can. So far I have had many satisfied clients from all walks of life. Alhamdulillah!


Saturday, January 21, 2017

Subtitles Screwups! Cheapskate TV Stations.

Have you ever laughed out loud upon reading the ridiculous and sometimes outrageous subtitles that are shown on our various television channels?

The culprits are often the incompetent media content companies engaged by the cheapskate television stations here in Malaysia. I wonder who are the fellows responsible for engaging these incompetent subtitlers in the first place?

Surely not those who are well versed in English and Bahasa Melayu. Hence you get subtitles like the following:


Hahahahahaha! Saya Peter Tempat Letak Kereta! Hehehehehe! Hihihihihi, my funny bones are going click clickety clack! Spiderman would be so furious being identified as a car parking lot! :P

The following subtitling screwup is so outrageous and explicit!


" kau kena racun bunga Chi***? Hahahahahaha! Honest! I do not know of any such flower being so named! Any of you who knows this particular flower, please be so kind as to update me about it! :D

Another spectacular subtitling boo boo follows below:


My name is Noah is spelled 'No Ah'and the spectacular subtitle translation in Malay comes forth as ' Nama saya Tidak Ah!' Hehehehehehe... so funny!

Sunday, November 20, 2016

How I learned to speak and think in proper English? Here's my story.

I was in a way quite lucky to be born just a year after Malaya achieved Independence from the British Colonials. This was in 1958 where there was still an air of British influence permeating the Malayan education system.

I entered primary schooling in 1965 at the Jelutong English School, now known as Sekolah Kebangsaan Jelutong Barat, situated at School Lane after the Jelutong Wet Market. 


There were no British Native English teachers back then but I took to learning and mastering English naturally. I just had a flair for learning the language of our former British Colonialists.


I took to mastering the lingua franca of the British at a very young age. I remember winning an English speaking and spelling contest when I was in Standard Six where the famous Fraser & Neave company which ran a soft drink bottling plant in Georgetown came to hold that contest at my school.



The company's spokesman called out for anyone who could spell correctly the name of the road where the bottling plant was located in Georgetown?
My hand shot up faster than any other students and I was invited to go up on stage and give my answer.

I spelled it out 'Argyll Road!' The F&N spokesman applauded me and congratulated me for my exact and precise answer. My prize? A set of 6 F&N emblazoned glasses that came with a carrying rack. I was so proud as I carried home my prize and handed them over to my sister.



Being poor forced me to improvise in getting reading materials to improve my vocabulary. I just read whatever I could get my hands upon. Old newspapers were quite handy. If I saw any discarded old newspapers, no matter if they were at a rubbish heap r bin, I'd salvage them and read to my heart's content.


Back then my house had newspapers plastered on to the dividing wall as sort of a wallpaper.. So, I'd slowly read whatever news was printed on the newspapers. When you get the hang of it, you'd take to understanding English like a duck takes to water. It becomes part and parcel of your life apart from Malay and Tamil which was my mother tongue.


The key to mastering English is to listen properly and learn how to speak as a proper native speaker of British English. Namely the Queen's English. As an Asian it is not wise for us to try and speak or converse in English using the accents of the British common folk.


One doesn't have to put on any airs when speaking in proper English but just have to conduct oneself according to the situation that one finds oneself in.

I cherished my time volunteering as a Caller to Islam at the historical Masjid Kapitan Keling, City of Georgetown at Penang Island, my home state. 


By meeting travelers from all around the world who come to visit the island's most prominent and central mosque, I got to speak and converse in English with native speakers of English. My favorites were those who came from England, Ireland, Scotland, the United States of America, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, etc.


It is imperative that we put to practice our speaking skills and use the right mannerisms and pronunciations when speaking with them. This will help polish our vocabularies and give us a stronger confidence and ability to express ourselves better and with clarity.


Shown below is a Notice Board at the Masjid Kapitan Keling with words that I authored advising visitors as to the rules and regulations that they needed to observe and comply with. 


I heard from my colleague, Haji Kamarudin Abdullah, the President of the Islamic Centre which we set up together way back in the late 1980s that this Notice Board has been removed and is now being kept in storage after having served the visitors for more than 20 years.



Notice to Visitors, Kapitan Keling Mosque
The current Mosque Administration Committee seems not to know of it's significance to me personally. I hope that I will be able to acquire it for my own personal collection when I return to Penang in the near future. I have conveyed my desire to my friend, Haji Kamarudin and hope he succeeds in relaying my wish to the Committee. Insya Allah.

Back to using English in the right way, here's a video that might be useful for learners of the language.


One should not be too concerned of making grammatical mistakes in the process of learning a language. Just go with the flow and slowly but surely learn to speak and understand what it is that you are saying? Do not simply try to copy and speak whatever that you see being shown on the television shows or serials.

Different countries have differing social customs and taboos. Trying to act smart or savvy can land you in trouble if you unknowingly used an insulting phrase or sentence containing derogatory words or expressions.

Americans are notorious for using vulgar and obscene phrases almost nonchalantly in their conversations everyday. What might be common for them does not necessarily mean it is okay for us too. Even kids as young as 5 or 6 are spewing out expletives as they please and at times, even swear at their very own parents and elders.

That is just not so right!

Being able to speak English well is not an excuse to be vulgar or crude and uncultured. Just because you have learned and mastered a level of English does not however give you the licence to curse and ridicule others or insult them knowing fully well that your chosen victims do not know English that well.

Being able to speak well in English does not elevate anyone to a status that is akin to being a demigod or something quite noble. Respect and honor comes to those who conduct themselves in a manner that draws the attention and appreciation of society which knows the difference between duds and diamonds.


There are many benefits of being able to speak good English. One can convey the Truth of Islam clearly to those who wish to know more about the only revealed faith for all mankind from the Almighty. 


One's audience would be able to understand very well as to what is being shared or said. You owe it to yourself to learn how to articulate what you mean to share? There's also a vast difference between a rightly spoken word and a mumbling of whatever a confused speaker of the language passes off.


Here's a very funny example: Thai English Class


Yet in this challenging fat changing world there are many street smart individuals who quickly adopt and adapt themselves in mastering English in order to survive and fend for themselves. They have no choice but to learn simple English intermingling it with their own local dialects or language.

You would find such street savvy people all over the world. Here's Suraj, a street-smart boy from the slums of India. He learned to speak English on his own from interacting with the people he meets on the streets of Dharamsala, India.

You might find similar street children from every major cities of the world. Whether it is New York, Chicago, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Karachi, Chennai, Rangoon, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, Manila, Beijing, etc. they would all be the same.

Able to wheel and deal their way through the myriads of circumstances that come their way. If you have watched Slumdog Millionaire, you would have an idea of what street life is all about? Here's a real life documentary of such children.


Phew! It's quite heart wrenching to watch the hardships of those people!

Back to my main subject. Learn English. Understand it well. Speak good English. Do not pollute your command of the English by intermixing t with the local dialects or slang.


Manglish or Singlish might be quite entertaining for a while but when it comes to real life, that is not going to help its speaker get employed. 
Might help actors like Singapore's Gurmit Singh to act in his famous 'Phua Chu Kang' comedy show but not for all others.

Employers would want to employ you if you could converse in acceptable levels of English and be able to close deals with customers efficiently. No matter how good looking you are but the second you utter horrible or mangled English and the customer flinches away in disgust or shock, you can kiss your job goodbye!


I took the British Council's English Test many years back in Penang and scored Band 8. Almost British Native Speaker's Level. I didn't have the means to pursue my dreams of studying in England to be a proper English Master. Yet today, here I am being able to proofread, translate, edit and write very well from English to Malay and vice versa through my writing services here at www.readnwrite.net.


My clients include university college students and lecturers, professionals, consultants and companies. I urge you my reader to strive in improving your command of English by speaking to native speakers of English directly in order for you to improve your mastery of one of the world's major languages used for communication, learning and research.


You also need to watch more better quality productions especially those produced and aired by the British Broadcasting Corporation. Click here to watch and listen to one such video. 


It's like having your very own British English tutor available 24/7 teaching you how to say the British English words correctly. You will only get better by diligently following the instructions. You need to be articulate. 


You can browse You Tube for many more beneficial videos such as the video which I gave the link above or this video.



I would like to invite you to contact me if you have any writing tasks at hand which you might help with. Be it proofreading, editing or translating. Insya Allah, I will provide you my best services. Thank you.


Monday, August 15, 2016

Proofreading ~ It's a do or die choice!

Proofreading is so vital in our every official and social interactions that if we fail to proofread whatever we author or post to the public realm or in our business and personal dealings with others, it can cause us untold losses, ruin or other calamities!

To a student who wants to get a perfect score or be in the top list of those who excelled in their exams, proofreading is a must. Failure to proofread opens the door to failing and losing the opportunity to be accorded the appropriate marks in any tests or examinations that he or she partakes in their academic pursuit.



For a doctor who fails to proofread whatever prescriptions that he or she decides to prescribe in the treatment process of a patient might just endanger their patient's life and could expedite their demise!



For a business company to not engage the services of a competent and dependable proofreader to vet their sales and marketing materials before distributing to the general public or advertise their products through the media channels, it can hasten their demise from the business world.


Hehehehehe..without a Comma, it could be the end of Grandma!
Many a times have I come across spelling mistakes in products or services that immediately destroys any sense of worthiness from a brand or line of product. 

I came across a photo showing just how bad a misspelling can be for a world famous fast food restaurant. Check it out:



That's a real business killer! Proofread before you suffer! McDonalds must be hiring some real jackasses to come out with these kind of embarrassing signage editors!

Here's another spoiler:

Even academic departments are not free from such blatant spelling screw-ups!



It's so embarrassing what a missing letter 'l' can lead to!

Or in the case below, a missing 'g' ! :P



From the intended word ' ANGUS' ; they spelled it as 'ANUS'! Hohohohoho... :D

It could be due to pure oversight or plain recklessness. The signage contractors should really employ or engage a proofreader to make sure that whatever message that they put across really delivers the real intended message to the viewing public!

You really ought to stay clear of the following area lest you wish to be prostituted! Hehehehehe..



I can keep going on sharing so many examples with you but I'll stop right here for I am pretty sure that you've got my message!

Double check and proofread before you click 'send'. 

Ready to help you out with any writing or editing tasks. Call +60163969881 or email me at editor.readnwrite.net@gmail.com.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

KFC Flyer Typo Error Corrected! Yours Truly feels a sense of accomplishment!

Hehehehe.. Do you remember my article on KFC's Typo Error on their promotional flyer where a 'D' was missing from their greeting to us?

Well, the company must have read my posting and this time around made sure that the wordings were correct! Here is their latest flyer with the right spellings.


It's not really a big deal but when it comes to a world famous company brand originating from the USA, there must be a certain acceptable standard when it comes to promotional items such as the above featured flyer.

As a Proofreader, it makes me feel pleased that my effort in highlighting the typo error has in a way been successful. 

That's what we need to do. Help raise the standards of our Malaysian companies grasp and command of the English language to be on a level that can be acceptable worldwide.

Speak well. Write well. Communicate well. Advertise in a manner worthy of your company's image and reputation. Don't be a cheapskate and try to do it all by yourself if you do not have it in you to do a proper job. 

If you need help, contact me at +60163969881 or email me at editor.readnwrite.net@gmail.com or at mahaguru58@gmail.com

Satisfaction guaranteed!



Saturday, November 21, 2015

DBKL'S lousy English greeting US President Barack Obama gets flak!


DBKL @ DEWAN BANDARAYA KUALA LUMPUR or the KUALA LUMPUR CITY HALL ia again in the proverbial hot soup for screwing up on the greeting for visiting American President Barack Obama  which has been displayed prominently on the ITIS signboards at our capital city's major roadways.

As we can all see clearly, the words used by DBKL to greet President Obama is obviously incorrect and doesn't really convey to him, that we are welcoming him to Malaysia, our beloved nation.

Instead, DBKL's sign says 'WELCOME TO THE PRESIDENT OF USA BARACK OBAMA'.

Hehehehe.. We can all become fault finders and gleefully poke fun at the ones who are in charge of the capital city of our country, Kuala Lumpur.

For example, we can ask the following, tongue in cheek sarcastic question:

Hello? Who is DBKL to welcome readers to The President of the USA, Barack Obama?

knowing that in the US of A, there are legions of LGBT practitioners who would simply jump at the chance to have a go at Obama!

They have made lots of parodical videos which they have posted on You Tube making Obama out to be a royal stud or something

America glorifies their so called freedom to insult and make fun of just everything and everybody.

Even their country's leaders are not exempt.

Even The White House regularly holds the 'Roast' of its Presidents where the incumbent Head of State is made fun of publicly at these gala events.

Even President Obama indulges in such tomfoolery.

Back to the main issue here, DBKL simply have shot themselves in their proverbial foot by not engaging the services of Writing & Editing professionals 
like yours truly here.

Here's my response in the form of a comment which I posted in the Facebook thread uploaded by the New Straits Times online:

CLICK ON THE SCREENSHOT TO VIEW IT BETTER

It's just a simple mistake on the part of DBKL but when it reflects very badly and exposes the atrocious poor command of English of our country's capital city's administrators!

The blatant error in welcoming the most powerful and influential leader of the current world's # 1 superpower by DBKL's ill choice of words will be a laughing stock of the American media and talk show hosts.

Please don't be a cheapskate DBKL! I won't charge you much! Hehehehe.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Malaysian's appalling level of English due to Government Error.

When I started schooling way back in 1965, Jelutong English School, Penang was still educating us in proper British English.

We were in a way being taught to speak in the Queen's English. Speaking for myself, I developed a fine level of being able to read and write as well as speak very well in English. I was also and still am quite proficient in Bahasa Melayu as well for Iv grew up in a Malay kampong @ village in East Jelutong, Penang.

Being quite well versed in English and Malay serves me well to this very day. I can also speak very well in Tamil and a fair grasp of the local Penang Hokkien Chinese dialect. I can't however read and write any of the above stated languages apart from my major languages of English and Malay.

I understand a bit of Japanese, Hindi and Arabic as well but can't read or write in them either. 

From my observation, after 1970, the Malaysian Government decided to change the education system to be taught in Malay. As a result, many of our nation's students started to lose their ability to interact well in English, the world's major lingua franca.

It is not that we do not respect our National Language which is Bahasa Melayu, being a Malay nation but when it comes to business transactions and further study in the field of science and technology, most of the major universities do teach in English.

If we are to excel in any chosen field especially in any international level of studies where the resources are in English, then we would need to achieve a certain level of prowess in the language itself and any poor grasp of English will hinder our ability to excel in the subject due to our insufficient understanding of the said subject for literary reasons.

Malaysia needs to set it's education system right by reverting to the way things were back in the 1960s.

Only then will our academic institutions gain the highest standards of achieving academic excellence as we once did. Look south of the Malay Peninsular at Singapore. Their universities are today ranked as amongst the highest ranks amongst the world's premier universities due to the fact that they teach in English.

Our political representatives apparent low levels of academic qualifications also expose a downwards spiral of oratorical skills especially in English and also in Bahasa Melayu which often portrays our Parliamentarians to be of a level best suited to debate at the local coffeeshops.

Very poor command of English and even Bahasa Melayu which is our official and national language. What a shame! 

It's such a ridiculous situation where the so called Members of our Malaysian Parliament are so rude, arrogant and uncouth during the process of debating motions of enacting of laws that are to be used to govern our nation.

Other countries MP's are able to express their views in a more dignified and eloquent manner using proper words and sentences. 

So, it all goes back to the way our schools are teaching our students. Starting from even the primary school levels. In many cases, we find uneducated incompetent persons teaching at the kindergartens causing our impressionable young children being taught wrongly by people who are not supposed to even teach them the alphabets because these very persons can't even articulate those alphabets well in the first instance.

Malaysia really needs to scrape all these inappropriate shoddy systems that are currently in place. It goes back as to who calls the shots at Putrajaya?